E-portfolio: Giant swing

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

Finally it was time. My turn. Taking a deep breath. Suddenly butterfly's start to come. It wasn't very long before I eventually start to swing . The instructor impatiently walked over to exactly where I was. Asking how high I wanted to go. My head was spinning with what levels there was. Even though I was nervous at first I did level 3 the highest level.

Meanwhile I rush up to the trees . Ouch rubbing against my neck is this uncomfortable harness. My fingers are now stuck GREAT . Going in one ear and out the other is William saying the countdown . Are my fingers going to be stuck here the whole time. I wiggle them and eventually they are out. It's time.

Ahhhhh I'm swinging as high that I can see most of the groups . Now I'm lowing and I still can't believe it wasn't that scary. Now I'm swinging low and I'm just chilling.

Student Reflection  In my writing one of my goals is Use different sentence beginnings and lengths  I did/did not show this goal here because I did this goal well in this piece of writing because in most  of my sentence the beginnings are different  In my writing one of my goals are Use different sentence types -simple compound and complex  sentences  I did/did not show goal here this because I did and didn't show this goal because I used some compound  and simple sentences but not much on complex My next step My next step is to use more complex sentences . Teacher Comment: Shiloh, I like the way that you have shown specific detail of your experience. You have painted a clear picture in my mind of how you were feeling using descriptive words. Your next step is to use more complex sentences and add different punctuation instead of full stops. Miss Hurley.